Fall Funk

So I know I usually use this blog to post about the kids and family and how we're all doing here in Michigan, but I need a bit of an outlet right now and I'm going to do it here. I'm in a fall funk and I don't know what else to do.

Last week we thought we were going to get an offer on the house. Our Realtor called us to find out if we'd be able to do a 30 day turn around on our house and that we were the top of the list for the interested buyers. As you can imagine, this caused quite a stir for us. Could we do a 30 day turn around? We could, but it would mean a lot of work to get it done. I would need to go down to Cincinnati ASAP to find a house, we would have to pack and move 3 kids, I would need to get Jake out of school here and registered down there, etc, etc. Our agent told us that the buyers had one more house to see and then would make an offer on our house or the final house they were to look at. Well, they went with the other house and now I'm in a funk.

I was in a bit of a funk before all of that, but the ups and downs of the possibility of it all sent me over the edge. I don't know if its not working as much, not knowing when this move will happen, not having any "me" time, or what. Most likely, its just a combination of it all. I love fall, but for some reason this funk likes to pop up pretty regularly this time of year. And for some reason it is a lot worse this year.

For a lot of years this was the way it was. Fall would roll around and my depression would get worse - for those of you that don't know I suffered from depression for years and was on and off meds for about 7 years for it. Once I had finally decided to take control of my life in 2002 by leaving school and moving back to Michigan, I finally started to really understand myself and how to deal much better. I didn't need meds anymore and for the first time in years there was no fall funk. Sure I've had moments of it popping up, but nothing even close to what I had gone through in the past. But this year? This year it seems to be rearing its ugly head in an almost forgotten way.

The unknown doesn't sit well with me and being in limbo is even worse. And right now I'm dealing with both and I don't like it. I really wish I knew when this move would happen. And I wish I knew what I was going to do once we do move. I know it will all work out the way its supposed to, but I'm having a hard time keeping that thought in the front of my mind as this drags out longer and longer.