Grateful

We all have things that make us who we are. For me that has been being negative or down on myself. It's who I am. And I'm ok with that - to a point. Going through years - and I do mean years - of depression and therapy to resolve this and other things, I learned how to deal with it. No I'm not little miss sunshine now, but I know that I have to do a lot of self checks to be sure I'm not getting myself too down or those around me. Sometimes I'm good at this and sometimes, well......

Any way, lately I've been reading a lot from one blog - Hands Free Mama. She talks a lot about being imperfect and trying to step back from it all so that you can really take it in, all of it, good and bad. And so I've been thinking about what I can do in my life to take my naturally negative, down on myself nature and spin it so that I can see the positive and enjoy life, all of it, good and bad. 

So here it goes.....

The past two weeks have been hard, but I am grateful Chris will be home tomorrow

Rylan challenges me to the point of tears most days, but I am grateful I have a daughter that knows who she is and is willing to fight for what she wants 

It's hard to play the single mom role when Chris has to travel for work, but I am grateful that Chris has a great job and I have a great support system of family and friends when I need extra help

We had a snow day yesterday that really threw off my schedule, but I am grateful that I got to spend a relaxing day with my kids after spending the previous day off in whirlwind of nonstop craziness 

Trying to coach with all four of my kids at the pool takes a lot out of me, but I am grateful that I have a job that allows the flexibility to bring my kids and that my kids get to see me in my element

There are days when I want scream, cry, tear my hair out, etc. when my kids are, well, being kids, but I am grateful that I HAVE four amazing kids 

My body hurts and I'm exhausted all the time, but I am grateful that I have the drive to keep going because I know I will always feel better if I do

There are few days that I don't feel overwhelmed and wondering if I'm in over my head in some aspect of my life, but I am grateful that I am here each day and that I continue to find strength I didn't know I had

So I think you get the point. No matter what the negative is, there is always something to be grateful for out of it. The real challenge will be to remind myself in my most trying times. It's easy now as I sit here in a quiet house with all the kids asleep, but how will I do at 4p tomorrow? When the boys get home from school and need to do homework, Rylan is pulling at me to help her with a snack, and Miles is screaming because he wants to be picked up....how will I do then? Hopefully, I will be able to find the strength to take a deep breath and remind myself of all the things I am grateful for.