I NEVER thought I would have a daughter. But I KNEW if I did, she would be a princess. I knew the universe would give me that challenge. There was no way the universe would let me off easy with a super-athletic, into sports, princesses are dumb, kind of girl. That's just not the way life works. The universe wants to teach, and you have to challenge to teach.
Now let me back track a bit. I had always wanted boys. I thought I would have 3 boys. Why 3? I can't say, but that's what I thought. So when I was safely pregnant (past 13 weeks with positive tests and all) I thought for sure that boy #3 was on his way....except for the ever lurking mother's intuition that said otherwise.
At roughly 19 weeks I found out all of the signs pointing to a girl that I had been ignoring, should not have been ignored. This tomboy momma was having her first girl....Holy S%#$ Balls! I honestly wanted to cry, not out of joy, but out of shear terror.
Seriously, from what I understand, most women that were bestowed two boys would have been OVER the MOON to find out #3 was a girl! I cannot understand this thinking at all! It's been five years since I learned that my 3rd was a girl and I think I'm still in SHOCK. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY RY GIRL! SHE ROCKS MORE THAN I CAN POSSIBLY EXPLAIN/CAPITALIZE! Rylan is piece of our puzzle, we wouldn't work without her, no question. At the same time, we cried tears of joy when we found out #4 was a boy....(take from that what you will).
However, as much as I love this princess-pink-purple-doll-loving girl, DEAR GOD, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!
I see all of these posts about what to do if you are a mom of boys and I think - "What's the big deal???" Boys, they're easy. Yes they are dirty. messy. fight, etc. They leave the toilet seat up, think farting is the funniest thing ever, and will do the most asinine thing you could possibly think of! But to me, those things are EASY! I have been a Tomboy most of my life. I LOVE SPORTS! I have two TVs in my family room so I can watch multiple sporting events at the same time!!!! I get rough and tough, dirt is my friend, and I would much rather do a fantasy football draft than read a fashion magazine - clearly by the way I dress this is no surprise. I DO NOT GET PRINCESSES AND TEA PARTIES!!!
So what the hell do you do if a girl, and a girly-girl at that, infiltrates your life?! Seriously, WHAT DO YOU DO??? I"M STILL TRYING TO FIND OUT!!!
In all seriousness, it has been a blessing in many ways. I'm learning again, or for the first time, what it means to be a woman. Here are some of the things that having a daughter has reminded me of or taught me:
Being Feminine has nothing to do with bows and lace, it is a softness that cannot be taught and has nothing to do with gender..
Being a girl does not mean you are weak. The only way to be weak is to be weak, girl or boy.
You don't have to be a boy to be tough. I have seen toughness from a 3 year old girl wearing a tutu who will not be deterred by two older brothers.
Strength has nothing to do with the size of your body, but the size of your conviction.
Playing house is WAY better than actual playing house :)
Girl time is important - This CANNOT be overstated!
"Girl" toys cannot define you as a girl. Dolls are fun and so are toy guns, nuff said.
You don't have to be athletic to enjoy sports.
NO ONE will deter you unless you decide they can.
You can be a mother.
You can be a sister.
You can control the world. Men may think they do, but I have seen a certain little girl bring the strongest of men to their knees and ask "what can I do for you?" No man or boy has that kind of power!
My Rylan has taught or re-taught me a lot in these five years. I never thought I would have a girl, and imagine if I hadn't. Surrounded by boys would I appreciate the beauty of this world, of myself as much? I don't know. What I do know is that because of my daughter, who so brilliantly squeezed herself into this family of boys, I get to be reminded of all of the wonderful things that go along with being a girl.
And I thank God regularly that she has two Grandmas much better at the girly stuff than me! :)
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