Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Baby Bears Leaving the Den



Today marked the beginning of the end. The time home with the kiddos will be ending in the not to distant future. From what I can gather this can be sad, or at the very least, a lot of mixed feelings. While I did have some flutters of sadness, I was way more excited for and impressed with my two littles.

Let me backtrack a bit. For anyone paying attention on Facebook or anyone that has talked to me in the past six months, the decision to start Rylan in Kindergarten this fall has not been an easy one. Rylan will turn 5 in August, putting her on the cusp of whether to start her as young or old Kindergartner. Should we start her now when she might not be 100% ready or wait a year when she will be more than 100% ready??????? Dear god, this is a question that I never thought I would ask until people told me I HAD to ask it. Why do I listen to other people again?????

Anyway, so Chris and I delved deep into the question of whether to send or not to send. And of course, the answer was murky at best. From a teachers perspective, give her time and make sure she's ready. For those that actually know her? OMG, are you kidding? Of course she's ready! I also was told by everyone that the decision they made for their child was the right one. So yeah, I started to doubt EVERYTHING I thought I knew about my daughter, and my intuition. I talked to EVERYONE. Friends, family, teachers, counselors, you name it! And the reoccurring theme? Trust your instincts, you know your daughter best. So after HOURS of discussion and research, Chris and I found a path that we think is best, for now at least. I put that last little tidbit in there because there is another path we are pondering and may take in the future, but that's for another day.

For now, we have found a WONDERFUL school that will provide a Kindergarten enrichment program in the morning and then bus her to her Elementary school for afternoon Kindergarten. The enrichment program will allow her to work in a smaller class setting, get extra help that she may need, and help her to acclimate to a full day of school. Now I'm sure there are more than a few people asking "why the rush?" Quite frankly, its none of your business. Every family has a unique set of needs and what will work best for them. After going through ALL of OUR needs and where we think RYLAN is academically and socially, we KNOW this is the right decision for US. FOR US. NOT FOR YOU. That is the most important thing. This is a FAMILY decision. Because whether you agree with it or not, we need to look at the needs of the whole to meet the needs of each child. Rylan is special and has very specific needs, but ALL of our kids are special and have very specific needs. That's what makes them who they are. And we need them to know NOW that their life is just as important as their siblings lives. And their parents lives. And in order to make the best decision for each child we need to make the best decision for the family as well. Agree with it or not, its how we roll.

Now, I did say for now....We don't know if this is the answer that will last. So, what do we know? We know that our eyes are wide open and a decision for the future of ANY of our kids is not decided now, but in the choices we make now and going forward with the information we gather along the way. And going through all of this and making this choice and gathering this information, we learned that  we much prefer our kids to experience preschool in a full day setting where they can really stretch their wings and find themselves. In this process for Rylan I found that I was EXTREMELY sad that she did not get the same experience as Jake and Brenden. They started daycare/preschool at younger ages and in a full day environment where they learned how life works. Making friends, cooperating in a group setting, challenging their limits, learning, exploring, and all without the safety net of mom lurking near by. Yes they had teachers, but I can tell you as a coach that kids experience life in MUCH different ways when they are away from the nest.

And so, along with Rylan starting her new school this summer to get acclimated, Miles will start full day preschool now as well. He is 6 months younger than when Rylan started, but more than a year older than when Jake started and almost a year older than when Brenden started. He will go every other week this summer for 3 days per week. And when school starts in the fall he will go 2 full days per week.

And I wish I could send him a third day each week, but this shit is EXPENSIVE and I'm a coach so two days it is. Two days a week I will be solo. For two days I will not be consumed with getting kids fed, napped, and entertained from 9a-4p.

And??? I'm EXCITED! I'm excited to be sending my last two baby bears out into the daycare/preschool/Kindergarten world. And you know what? They are excited too! Miles didn't even care that I left today. Rylan? I thought she would cling to me to say goodbye, but she couldn't be bothered to even look up as I said goodbye. Am I sad? Not in the least! I'm so happy for them, for me! But more than that, I'm relieved. I'm sooooo RELIEVED to know that I DO KNOW MY KIDS.

I don't discount teachers and their professional opinions, but after this experience, I know they don't hold a candle to what I know is best for my kids. Parents - TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! Take guidance from professionals and seek out as much information as you can, but at the end of the day it is YOUR kid and YOU DO KNOW WHAT'S BEST!

The future is bright, but still unknown for the crazy Eby kids. But the fact that we are willing to learn and be guided by our kids and the choices we make for them makes me smile, and smile big! Cheers to us!



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