In the midst of our loss a couple of weeks ago we did get some good news, an offer on our house. Finally.
A woman had looked at our house back in November, but said that even though she liked it she would keep looking. Well, she came back the beginning of January for another look and made an offer. The offer initially came in VERY low and we really weren't sure what we should do. After talking with our Realtor we decided to counter offer and just let her know that we weren't going to play around that this was it. And believe it or not, she came back much closer to what we were hoping. After a week or so of getting the finer points down we had an offer we could both live with.
We had our inspection on Wednesday and just heard back today that it went well and there were only 3 minor issues, and one isn't even an issue they just didn't know what I had done. Anyway, so it looks like we're on our way to Cincinnati!
The offer was written that we won't close on the house until late March, but all contingencies will be off by February 17th for us to be able to write an offer on a home in Cincinnati. Once we close on the house we will rent our house back for at least April and if we don't find something we like by then we can rent May as well. This is perfect for what I want. It allows us to move when the weather is a little better and it will give Jake a chance to be in his new school for at least a month before school gets out so he can make some friends for the summer.
We are hoping to go down to Cincinnati sometime in February, but we're not sure yet if we will take the kids with us. Right now, there's not a lot on the market in Anderson twsp, but hopefully things will pick up soon. If not, we've also started to look at some other areas, but until I go down there I won't know for sure if I really like them.
Its going to be a busy few months trying to pack up everything and sell some things we don't want to move. Regardless, I'm excited to be moving forward!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Moving on
Note: This is very personal and might be too much information for some.
We lost our baby. It had stopped growing sometime around 9 weeks which is only a week after I had seen it and heard its heartbeat on an ultrasound. What follows is a lot more detail about the day I found out and what I have been feeling since. I'm trying to find a way to move on and this is the best I can come up with now to help in the grieving and healing process.
Monday was the worst day of my life, hands down. I went in for my 14 week appointment only to leave finding out my baby had died nearly 5 weeks earlier. And to make it worse, the week before the nurse had supposedly found the heartbeat to ease my worries that something might be wrong when I had had some spotting. I should have listened to myself rather than the nurse, I knew in my gut that the heartbeat was mine and not the baby's. I had even had a dream a few nights earlier that I was having a miscarriage. And this time was so much harder. I saw my baby lying so still in my belly, not moving, no heartbeat, and the same size as when I had seen it 6 weeks earlier. The doctor didn't need to even tell me, I knew. And because I couldn't listen to myself my body was none the wiser. This time it would not be natural, my body wouldn't take over and offer me comfort, instead I would have to take some medicine that would continue to make this even more real and awful. The medicine worked fast and quick, but by no means was it easy. From the cramping to my water breaking to passing my baby it has been a truly awful experience. And of course there is still bleeding so I am still reminded every time I go to the bathroom. And so I don't want to eat or drink anything now. Its not like it tastes good anyway. And I don't want to do anything, but yet I have to be doing something so I'm not thinking about it so now I play computer games until I'm too exhausted to see straight, which you would think would be a lot earlier than it ends up being. And I don't want to be mom during the day. Its strange to be sad about not being a mom to one more baby and not be able to rejoice in the 3 beautiful babies I do have. And of course they don't get it. They're sad, but for like a minute and then its like "you're still sad? Why?" Oh to be a kid and innocent. And of course Chris is out of town. Normally I don't mind sleeping alone on the couch, but I need him here to know HOW to sleep right now. Without him I don't know how to just stop distracting myself so I can sleep because if I stop distracting myself then I think about all that has happened and all that I lost in the past 2 days and then how can I possibly sleep. Between the thoughts and the sobs its awful to even breathe let alone sleep. Could it all just end now, please? Haven't I endured enough pain for one lifetime? My resolve has been challenged plenty I would think by now. I know I will move on and I know I will survive this, but I simply don't know how right now. I can't even see the tunnel to even know if there's a light at the end of it. I wish I could have just held my baby and let him know that I loved him and it was all going to be ok. All I wanted to do when I saw him Monday was climb inside that screen and curl up with my baby and comfort him. I love you sweet baby and I know that I will always think of you. I hope the universe has a better plan for you now.
We lost our baby. It had stopped growing sometime around 9 weeks which is only a week after I had seen it and heard its heartbeat on an ultrasound. What follows is a lot more detail about the day I found out and what I have been feeling since. I'm trying to find a way to move on and this is the best I can come up with now to help in the grieving and healing process.
Monday was the worst day of my life, hands down. I went in for my 14 week appointment only to leave finding out my baby had died nearly 5 weeks earlier. And to make it worse, the week before the nurse had supposedly found the heartbeat to ease my worries that something might be wrong when I had had some spotting. I should have listened to myself rather than the nurse, I knew in my gut that the heartbeat was mine and not the baby's. I had even had a dream a few nights earlier that I was having a miscarriage. And this time was so much harder. I saw my baby lying so still in my belly, not moving, no heartbeat, and the same size as when I had seen it 6 weeks earlier. The doctor didn't need to even tell me, I knew. And because I couldn't listen to myself my body was none the wiser. This time it would not be natural, my body wouldn't take over and offer me comfort, instead I would have to take some medicine that would continue to make this even more real and awful. The medicine worked fast and quick, but by no means was it easy. From the cramping to my water breaking to passing my baby it has been a truly awful experience. And of course there is still bleeding so I am still reminded every time I go to the bathroom. And so I don't want to eat or drink anything now. Its not like it tastes good anyway. And I don't want to do anything, but yet I have to be doing something so I'm not thinking about it so now I play computer games until I'm too exhausted to see straight, which you would think would be a lot earlier than it ends up being. And I don't want to be mom during the day. Its strange to be sad about not being a mom to one more baby and not be able to rejoice in the 3 beautiful babies I do have. And of course they don't get it. They're sad, but for like a minute and then its like "you're still sad? Why?" Oh to be a kid and innocent. And of course Chris is out of town. Normally I don't mind sleeping alone on the couch, but I need him here to know HOW to sleep right now. Without him I don't know how to just stop distracting myself so I can sleep because if I stop distracting myself then I think about all that has happened and all that I lost in the past 2 days and then how can I possibly sleep. Between the thoughts and the sobs its awful to even breathe let alone sleep. Could it all just end now, please? Haven't I endured enough pain for one lifetime? My resolve has been challenged plenty I would think by now. I know I will move on and I know I will survive this, but I simply don't know how right now. I can't even see the tunnel to even know if there's a light at the end of it. I wish I could have just held my baby and let him know that I loved him and it was all going to be ok. All I wanted to do when I saw him Monday was climb inside that screen and curl up with my baby and comfort him. I love you sweet baby and I know that I will always think of you. I hope the universe has a better plan for you now.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
10 days in the Desert
Any way, so we got to Arizona on the 17th and got the kids situated with my mom and brother and then Chris and I stayed in Phoenix for 2 days of quiet while the kids were off to Tucson. I have to say the 2 days of quiet was very much needed and appreciated! Chris and I got to sleep in, sort of, go out to dinner, hadn't done that since the summer, and got to go to a football game without having to figure out babysitters. It was all SO wonderful, hopefully we'll be able to do it again in the not too distant future, but more than likely it'll be at least 2 years away....
The rest of the trip was like having Christmas all week long for the kids! It seemed like everyday my mom had something planned and when she didn't have something planned we found something fun to do!
A look at some of the fun we had:
(I also posted all 221 pictures from the trip on Facebook.....my mom sure does like to take pictures!)
In-N-Out Burger for the first time......Yummmmm
U of A Basketball game! Go Cats!
(coincidentally they were playing Oakland, a team from Detroit)
(coincidentally they were playing Oakland, a team from Detroit)
There was LOTS of swimming in the pool...I mean hot tub :) The weather was too cold for pool swimming!
Baking Snicker Doodles
The boys helped to measure, mix ingredients, roll balls, and dip the dough into the cinnamon sugar, and they turned out great!
Much needed haircuts
Cowboy and Cowgirl time!
Rylan LOVED the cowboy boots, you'll see them a few more times below:)
Jewelry time with Mana
A visit from Michelle (my old coach)
A few of my favorite silly pictures in front of the Christmas tree
Sugar cookies this time! And Rylan wanted to join as well :)
Brenden by his Fathead and the Christmas Tree
Christmas Morning!
Stockings are stuffed to the limit!
Opening Presents
Nintendo 3ds for the boys, they must have one awesome Mana!
Rylan's own Jewelry, complete with clip on earings :)
Fun exploring in the Desert
And of course, BASKETBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A very good time indeed! With so much fun and excitement for 10 days its now time to wind down and relax until the New Year that will bring even more chaos and craziness with moving and the arrival of quatro - our current name for the new baby :)
We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and has a Happy and Safe New Year!
We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and has a Happy and Safe New Year!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Christmas Eve....Monkey Style
After a rocky start to the day we had a very nice Christmas Eve. The rocky start began with taking the boys to have them pick out and buy each other Christmas presents. They knew that Mana (my mom) was going to be giving them a present today and they both began whining that they wanted the presents they were buying each other instead - since they pretty much had figured out what the other had picked. We had to have a long talk on the way home about the meaning of Christmas. That Christmas is not about presents, but about appreciating what you have and the spirit of giving to others. For the most part, I think it started to sink in as they were much better behaved the rest of the day.
We spent the day making sugar cookies and decorating them, watching football - Yay Lions!, playing basketball, having a nice dinner of sloppy joes, and opening one present before bed. In the usual tradition of our family our one gift was new pajamas. And this year my mom went all out with Monkey PJs for everyone, including the grown ups.
The kids are now in bed with strict instructions to remain in their room until the alarm goes off at 7:30am or someone comes to get them, whichever comes first. We still have some wrapping to do tonight and we need to stuff the stockings. The cookies and milk are out and ready. We're just about ready for it to be Christmas. We hope that all of our family and friends are having a wonderful holiday as well. Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
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