Did you lick the bowl today?

So Tuesday night we had planned to have a nice outing to Target. I should have known it wouldn't go without at least one melt down, by me or the kids. Nonetheless, we went with high hopes and came home a little less positive than when we left. Oh well. But on the way home when we were talking (as we often do) about how we can all do a little better the next time, I decided I would try to make things up a bit and offered to make chocolate chip cookies when we got home. Obviously this was a big hit, even with Brenden who was trying his best to stay mad at me for "yelling" at him.

So we made it home and get everyone shuffled out of the car and into the house and we all start getting things ready to make some cookies. Unfortunately, we had to settle for a half-batch. I only had enough sugar for that since I had of course forgot to pick up more sugar when at Target...I always forget at least one thing I need at Target yet always manage to get 5 things I don't need....Anyway, we all helped putting in the sugar, butter, eggs, flour, etc., even Brenden helped :) And throughout the process was the constant question: Can I lick the bowl now?????NOW?????WHEN CAN I LICK THE BOWL????? Alas we finished and all got to lick the bowl. And not only did we lick it, but there was about enough dough for another 1-2 cookies that I didn't feel like baking on a separate sheet so we divided that up and had mini dough cookies.....mmm, yummy!

And when the cookies were done we all sat down and enjoyed warm homemade chocolate chip cookies and a little vanilla ice cream. Did this fix everything that had happened on our ambitious Target trek? No, of course not. Did we all end the night a little happier than we started? YES :) What really made this special for me was how we all just got to spend time together. And more importantly, time where I didn't have to constantly say no or don't do that or not now or whatever negative comments spewed from my mouth while at Target.

Not once while mixing, baking, and eating did I worry about the mess we were making. Not once did I worry about the refined sugar we loaded into the cookie dough. I knew this would make bedtime a little longer, but I didn't care. I didn't hesitate for one second to let the kids lick the bowl. This was OUR time. No worry of messes, salmonella, processed food, etc. were going to take this away from us. It didn't fix all of the things we ALL did wrong earlier in the night, but it did allow us to forget all of that and just enjoy - the cookies, each other, the moment.

There are a lot of things that we pass on to our kids, good and bad. Most days I don't get it right. But on that night I know I got the end right. And I hope on that night my kids will remember how we just enjoyed ourselves and forgot about all the rest.

If your day didn't go as planned I hope that you can find a way to lick the bowl :)

Bee-licious is 7!!

BEE....Bren.....Brenny.....Bee-licious....B-Man.....My Brenden Bear.....how can you possibly be 7!? You were the one I was supposed to soak up every moment with because you might be my last baby (don't laugh, Chris originally only wanted 2 kids). And even though we did have more, you are my baby so 7 just doesn't seem possible! You are my sweet boy that continues to amaze me with your crazy personality and imagination. You have always had the eye for observation. While people underestimate you, you take it all in and when you're ready you unleash your power and knowledge on this world and let them know that they should never underestimate you again. It's been a lot of fun this past year as your interests have broadened. And the huge amount of information you have been taking in, mainly in memorizing all the sports data you can get your hands on. You are constantly seeking more information and knowledge which has allowed you to excel at everything you try. Happy Birthday, Bren!

So Brenden's birthday landed on a Saturday so we decided he would have a birthday weekend. Friday he got to go with my dad to Toy R Us to pick out a gift. Saturday he had a Futsal game in the morning and then we spent the rest of the day preparing for his celebration with his friends. He wasn't thrilled about having an actual party so Chris came up with the idea to take him and a few friends to a Cincinnati Cyclones hockey game. He invited 4 friends to come over for cake, presents, and a chance to get some energy out before the game. Jake also was allowed to come to be game and bring along a friend. We got there right as the puck dropped and got to stay to the end. The Cyclones lost, but there was lots of action, it was super hero night, and orange leaf for the boys to keep their sugar high going :) I think Brenden really enjoyed it and it was so nice for me to see him with his friends. After the game it was back to our house with one of the boys for an overnight, Brenden's first time having a friend stay the night. The boys eventually settled down and fell asleep, but at one point it seemed like they would be up all night. Sunday would bring our family celebration. We gave him presents the day before, but with having his friends come over we didn't get to do family dinner of his choice. So Sunday we had chicken divine (Brens favorite), Oreo ice cream pie, and watching the Super Bowl all together. A great birthday weekend!

        

The J-Man turns 9!

Holy crap, my first born is 9! How can this possibly be? What's more crazy is that he seems to finally be catching up to his age. What you say? Well, from the moment he came screaming into this world it was clear Jake was an old soul. He has always seemed beyond his years in the way he thinks, acts, and the aura he emits into this world. And watching him this past year we have really been able to see this in the way he approaches school, sports, being the oldest child, and helping out in our lives. He starts his day by getting up and fed so that he can get Miles up and fed. He recognizes when I'm overwhelmed and asks if there is anything he can do to help. He puts forth every effort in his soccer games and works hard at home (when weather permits) at his skills to ensure the next game will be even better. He has read the entire Harry Potter and Percy Jackson series and is now on the Hobbit and tackling The Lord of the rings series and asked if he could start the Hunger Games series as well. Beyond. His. Years. This kid never ceases to amaze me, what a lucky mom I must be.

His birthday fell on a Thursday so it was school all day, but that evening Chris returned from a long business trip and we had a great family night with lime chicken for dinner, ice cream pie for dessert, presents from family, and watching Turbo together. An awesome night all around.

Jake decided this year instead of a bunch of presents from us he wanted a party at Scallywag Tag - a laser tag and arcade place. He invited 10 friends and Bren got to have one friend as well. They had a blast playing laser tag, getting tickets in the arcade for prizes, eating pizza, and of course chowing down on cake - one kids said it was the best cake ever, go me. There was no doubt Jake made the right choice and had a great party.

     

  

    

Grateful

We all have things that make us who we are. For me that has been being negative or down on myself. It's who I am. And I'm ok with that - to a point. Going through years - and I do mean years - of depression and therapy to resolve this and other things, I learned how to deal with it. No I'm not little miss sunshine now, but I know that I have to do a lot of self checks to be sure I'm not getting myself too down or those around me. Sometimes I'm good at this and sometimes, well......

Any way, lately I've been reading a lot from one blog - Hands Free Mama. She talks a lot about being imperfect and trying to step back from it all so that you can really take it in, all of it, good and bad. And so I've been thinking about what I can do in my life to take my naturally negative, down on myself nature and spin it so that I can see the positive and enjoy life, all of it, good and bad. 

So here it goes.....

The past two weeks have been hard, but I am grateful Chris will be home tomorrow

Rylan challenges me to the point of tears most days, but I am grateful I have a daughter that knows who she is and is willing to fight for what she wants 

It's hard to play the single mom role when Chris has to travel for work, but I am grateful that Chris has a great job and I have a great support system of family and friends when I need extra help

We had a snow day yesterday that really threw off my schedule, but I am grateful that I got to spend a relaxing day with my kids after spending the previous day off in whirlwind of nonstop craziness 

Trying to coach with all four of my kids at the pool takes a lot out of me, but I am grateful that I have a job that allows the flexibility to bring my kids and that my kids get to see me in my element

There are days when I want scream, cry, tear my hair out, etc. when my kids are, well, being kids, but I am grateful that I HAVE four amazing kids 

My body hurts and I'm exhausted all the time, but I am grateful that I have the drive to keep going because I know I will always feel better if I do

There are few days that I don't feel overwhelmed and wondering if I'm in over my head in some aspect of my life, but I am grateful that I am here each day and that I continue to find strength I didn't know I had

So I think you get the point. No matter what the negative is, there is always something to be grateful for out of it. The real challenge will be to remind myself in my most trying times. It's easy now as I sit here in a quiet house with all the kids asleep, but how will I do at 4p tomorrow? When the boys get home from school and need to do homework, Rylan is pulling at me to help her with a snack, and Miles is screaming because he wants to be picked up....how will I do then? Hopefully, I will be able to find the strength to take a deep breath and remind myself of all the things I am grateful for.

Miles Turns 1!!!

It's official, no more babies :( At least not until my babies start having babies, and I hope we have a looooong time before that happens! ;-)

I'm definitely ready to be moving into the toddler phase, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to miss having a baby. I may not miss the long nights, the feedings, the puking, the real "joys" of the first year, BUT I DO LOVE BABIES! And its such a short phase - in the grand scheme of things that is, not necessarily in the way that the1st year feels like an eternity when you haven't slept or showered for days and you wonder if you can make it. That first year can be a killer, but now that its over I see how fast it really went and how much I'll miss the good parts. I love the snuggling and rocking and holding and squeezing I get to do, that's what I'll miss. The time when they WANT to be held instead of just looking for what they can get into next :) When a smile on my face is the only thing that will put a smile on their face. All of these little things that they want for a full year and not just a fleeting moment like when they are toddlers, preschoolers, big kids, teenagers, and so on. When YOU are their WHOLE world. But its time to say goodbye to that and move on to the next phase.

And as much as I love babies, the toddler years are pretty cool too. The amazing faces of a toddler! They show EVERY emotion on their faces, they haven't learned to edit or hide any thing from the world yet. Everything is new for them and it is SO AMAZING to watch. I have commented through my previous 3 toddler experiences how I would love to know the exact moment that amazing display of emotion for all to see goes away because I don't want to miss it. Yet it seems inevitable that you wake up and find your toddlers have become big kids and just don't see the same amazing faces as often. So one more chance now for me with Miles to see the emotion and delight plastered across his face for all to see :)

Anyway, enough of my on and on about babies and toddlers and blah, blah, blah. This was supposed to be about Miles and his big day :) So Miles turned one last Friday. Chris had to leave early for work that morning and I didn't get home until late the night before so it was a quiet day at home for the most part. I spent the day making our traditional birthday cake and running errands to get stuff for the birthday boy. Once Chris got home we had a nice family dinner that Miles chowed (as usual), opened presents, and ate cake. Miles LOVED the balloons I brought home for him and seemed pretty happy with the other gifts. We even had a hard time pulling him away from a toy his Aunt Meredith sent when it was cake time. Once we got him to the cake he seemed a bit unsure, after all this was his first cake experience. But once Chris gave him a taste, he was on board!

A very low key day, but I think he enjoyed it and knew it was a special day for him :) Here are some pictures for the Birthday Boy! (I tried to put some videos up, but it wouldn't let me for some reason)

PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!

As they called themselves: Taco Heads, waiting for cake

CAKE!!!!!!!

My Village

In this month of Thanksgiving and reading daily Facebook posts about what we are all thankful for, it's time for me to share my thoughts.

I recently read a friend's post about how her friends got together without her knowing to set up a schedule to help her out over the Thanksgiving break. She is a single working mom and expressed how this time of year can stress her out finding ways to make juggling everything even more difficult. And to her surprise, her amazing friends took care of it for her by organizing who could help out when with her kids so she could enjoy and have a less stressful holiday. Truly amazing.

It seems like daily that I get asked "4 kids? How do you do it?!" And quietly, to myself, I often think, how do YOU do it? How do any of us do it? The answer is always the same, we just do it. Single moms/dads, working moms, stay at home moms, moms of special needs kids, etc., we all do what we have to. BUT, none of us, and I really mean NONE OF US, does it alone. We've all heard the saying it takes a village. Well, after reflecting on my friend, her amazing friends, the constant question of how do you do it, this year I would like to give thanks to My Village.

My Village consists of so many that I'm sure I'll forget more than one, but I hope that everyone understands whether I mention you or not, you are important to me and you are the reason I can do it.

My family 

Immediate or extended you give me help and support daily. From Rylan giving me my morning motivation to go workout, Brenden out of the blue with a hug or I love you, Jake getting Miles up and fed in the morning, Chris arranging his schedule to be home so I can coach, my mom and Chris's parents coming to stay when I or Chris need an extra hand, or my brother keeping my kids fully outfitted in Michigan gear, this is what keeps me (relatively) sane day in and day out. Without my amazing and often under appreciated family, I don't know where I would be. Most likely I'd be completely lost and in search of myself.

My friends

Near or far you remind me who I was, who I am, and who I am capable of being. You are the ones that I know I can turn to whenever I need to laugh, cry, scream, vent, or be silly. And more importantly, you know and understand that even if I haven't talked to you for a year that doesn't matter. I know you will be there for me and I will be there for you whenever the moment calls and that's what true friendship is about.

My Diving World

Current or former divers, coaches, and families you have allowed me to follow my passion for the sport that I have been around for over 30 years. And I know that I will continue to be around it for many more to come because of the wonderful people that have pushed, supported, and loved me in the various capacities I have been apart in the diving community. 

And all of the other people that come and go - teachers, babysitters, athletes, coworkers, therapists, random acts of kindness people, etc. I may not know you well, or at all, or you may have been around for years, you fill in the gaps. Whether we know it or not, all of us make this work. I know I fill in the gaps for other people when I smile and say thank you or volunteer to help at school or whatever. So even though we may not exist in everyone's everyday life we are all part of other peoples villages whether we know it or not. We have all helped to do this.

So Thank You to My Village, I am truly thankful to you and all you do.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

We Have a Walker!

Well, we sort of have a walker :) Miles has been cruising around the furniture and anything he can get his hands on for the past few months, so I have been trying to encourage him to learn to walk. The boy is so darn big I'd love to have him walking sooner than later, my arms in particular would like this. He didn't show much interest - why would he? He is a super fast crawler and can get anywhere he needs to on all fours. Well, a little over a week ago he started to give the whole walking thing a little more consideration. If I was within a few steps he started to try and got some quick success. And over the weekend he took it to the next level. If he was up and where he wanted to go was under five steps away he would walk every time. He is also willing to get up in the middle of a room without anything around him and try a few steps. Wooo Hooo! We are all very excited and Jake and Brenden have had fun trying to lure Miles to them :) I don't think it'll be too much longer before he's racing around after his big brothers and sister!

Here's a quick video I got of him going from the ottoman to the sofa :)