An apology

This an apology on behalf of all moms. I know I shouldn't speak for all of us, but I also know that we are all thinking/feeling the same thing. I've heard it a million times and felt it far more.

I apologize for snapping at you. I apologize for not having enough time for you. I apologize for being tired. I apologize for not noticing. I apologize for not getting it done. I apologize for not helping you. I apologize for not knowing the answer. I apologize for forgetting. I apologize for not anticipating it. I apologize for not being there.

I apologize for not being able to do it all.

I know that my friends/kids/husband/co-workers/family/everyone knows this, but I apologize just the same. I can't do it all. And when I am up all hours of the night with a sick baby and I snap at you the next day, I hope you hear I'm sorry and not what is actually coming out of my mouth. And when I zone out when you're trying to tell me how your day was, I hope you hear I'm sorry instead of can you tell me again. And when I say I'm too tired to play, I hope you hear I'm sorry. And when I just can't anymore, I hope you hear I'm sorry.

Because every time, I truly am.

Being a mom/wife/friend/daughter/coach/employee can be the most rewarding and most exhausting job. I love all of you and I want time for all of you, but sometimes I don't know how to do it. I want to do it and I'm trying to figure out how to do it, but I'm still learning and I'm far from perfect so it usually doesn't work.

So I say I'm sorry and I love you. I hope that can be good enough because that is all I have to offer until I do figure out how to do it all.

Rylan is 3!

Or as Rylan says "I'm not 2 any more." Over the past year she has told me that she is 6 and 7. And when she asked me how old she was one day, my answer of 2 was met with "Still?!" So she has been looking forward to not being 2 anymore for about the entire year :)

Rylan's birthday fell on our final day of vacation that consisted mainly of being stuck in the car driving for nearly 8 hours. Since we knew this would be the case, we decided to celebrate a day early with cake and presents on Lake Michigan. It was just our family and my mom, but I think she had a blast. Her birthday celebration consisted of purple cupcakes, our traditional cake, playing on the beach, a family dinner, and presents that included Sofia the 1st toys, a purple jump rope, and a calculator - just exactly what she wanted!

Rylan continues to be my most challenging kid, but one thing I know from my daily struggles with her is that I will never have to worry about her. She is a strong willed and determined child that will not let anyone push her around. She will fight tooth and nail to get just what she wants, when she wants it. But no matter how frustrated she can make me, she can make me laugh and smile even more :) She is as goofy as she is stubborn which makes life quite interesting. It has been an exciting 3 years since she joined our family and over the next year I look forward to watching her start preschool and learn how to be a big sister as Miles gets bigger and starts to challenge her as she challenged Jake and Brenden!

Weekly Weigh In: Week 26......at least I think it is....

So I started this journey about 6 months ago where my goal was to lose 24 pounds in 24 weeks. Well, I didn't reach my goal, but I do think I was very successful.

I'm at about 135lbs (I do fluctuate a few pounds, but 135 seems to be the average) which is a total loss of roughly 17lbs. Even though I still have 5-10 lbs to lose until I will be satisfied with my weight, I am VERY satisfied with my fitness level. Regardless of what I weigh now and what I have weighed over these past 8+ years of having kids, I KNOW I am in the best shape I have been in since being an actual athlete. I haven't worked out in 3 weeks and still managed to get on the treadmill today and knock out 7+ miles AND felt great at the end. I was also able to run up this sand dune 4 times and 2 of those times carrying Rylan and I wasn't sore the next day. And finally, you can see my six pack abs again. I still may have some love handles, jiggly butt, and some extra on the thighs that I want gone, but I have no complaints about my stomach! I had six pack abs all growing up and now after 4 kids to see them again I KNOW I'm doing something right :)

So I may not be the weight I want, but I can run and jump and play which means I can run and jump and play with my kids! And I'm teaching them the importance of being able to run and jump and play at any age which is a much better outcome from this journey than I could have expected!