An apology

This an apology on behalf of all moms. I know I shouldn't speak for all of us, but I also know that we are all thinking/feeling the same thing. I've heard it a million times and felt it far more.

I apologize for snapping at you. I apologize for not having enough time for you. I apologize for being tired. I apologize for not noticing. I apologize for not getting it done. I apologize for not helping you. I apologize for not knowing the answer. I apologize for forgetting. I apologize for not anticipating it. I apologize for not being there.

I apologize for not being able to do it all.

I know that my friends/kids/husband/co-workers/family/everyone knows this, but I apologize just the same. I can't do it all. And when I am up all hours of the night with a sick baby and I snap at you the next day, I hope you hear I'm sorry and not what is actually coming out of my mouth. And when I zone out when you're trying to tell me how your day was, I hope you hear I'm sorry instead of can you tell me again. And when I say I'm too tired to play, I hope you hear I'm sorry. And when I just can't anymore, I hope you hear I'm sorry.

Because every time, I truly am.

Being a mom/wife/friend/daughter/coach/employee can be the most rewarding and most exhausting job. I love all of you and I want time for all of you, but sometimes I don't know how to do it. I want to do it and I'm trying to figure out how to do it, but I'm still learning and I'm far from perfect so it usually doesn't work.

So I say I'm sorry and I love you. I hope that can be good enough because that is all I have to offer until I do figure out how to do it all.

Rylan is 3!

Or as Rylan says "I'm not 2 any more." Over the past year she has told me that she is 6 and 7. And when she asked me how old she was one day, my answer of 2 was met with "Still?!" So she has been looking forward to not being 2 anymore for about the entire year :)

Rylan's birthday fell on our final day of vacation that consisted mainly of being stuck in the car driving for nearly 8 hours. Since we knew this would be the case, we decided to celebrate a day early with cake and presents on Lake Michigan. It was just our family and my mom, but I think she had a blast. Her birthday celebration consisted of purple cupcakes, our traditional cake, playing on the beach, a family dinner, and presents that included Sofia the 1st toys, a purple jump rope, and a calculator - just exactly what she wanted!

Rylan continues to be my most challenging kid, but one thing I know from my daily struggles with her is that I will never have to worry about her. She is a strong willed and determined child that will not let anyone push her around. She will fight tooth and nail to get just what she wants, when she wants it. But no matter how frustrated she can make me, she can make me laugh and smile even more :) She is as goofy as she is stubborn which makes life quite interesting. It has been an exciting 3 years since she joined our family and over the next year I look forward to watching her start preschool and learn how to be a big sister as Miles gets bigger and starts to challenge her as she challenged Jake and Brenden!

Weekly Weigh In: Week 26......at least I think it is....

So I started this journey about 6 months ago where my goal was to lose 24 pounds in 24 weeks. Well, I didn't reach my goal, but I do think I was very successful.

I'm at about 135lbs (I do fluctuate a few pounds, but 135 seems to be the average) which is a total loss of roughly 17lbs. Even though I still have 5-10 lbs to lose until I will be satisfied with my weight, I am VERY satisfied with my fitness level. Regardless of what I weigh now and what I have weighed over these past 8+ years of having kids, I KNOW I am in the best shape I have been in since being an actual athlete. I haven't worked out in 3 weeks and still managed to get on the treadmill today and knock out 7+ miles AND felt great at the end. I was also able to run up this sand dune 4 times and 2 of those times carrying Rylan and I wasn't sore the next day. And finally, you can see my six pack abs again. I still may have some love handles, jiggly butt, and some extra on the thighs that I want gone, but I have no complaints about my stomach! I had six pack abs all growing up and now after 4 kids to see them again I KNOW I'm doing something right :)

So I may not be the weight I want, but I can run and jump and play which means I can run and jump and play with my kids! And I'm teaching them the importance of being able to run and jump and play at any age which is a much better outcome from this journey than I could have expected!

6 months old!

  

My baby is 6 months! And not much of a baby anymore, at least by size. We got official confirmation yesterday that Miles is by far our biggest baby. He had his 6 month check up yesterday and weighed in just over 19 lbs. No wonder my arms are in such good shape!! My other kids have NEVER been over about the 40th percentile for their weight and then Miles comes in at nearly the 90th percentile. Now he's not my longest, Brenden still holds that title. Miles measured at 27 inches (80th percentile) and when Brenden was a baby he consistently was 90-95 percentile for height. And Miles actually has the smallest head, it measured at the 70th percentile yesterday, and the other three all had giant melons well over 90th percentile. Miles is the first, because of all of his weight, to be proportionate though, so he's got that going for him :)

Enough about stats and percentiles though, Miles is my sweet boy. He's (obviously) a good eater. He's still enjoying his bouncer, we literally can leave him in it for two hours and he'll bounce and bounce and bounce..... He crawled for the first time yesterday on all fours while at his doctors appointment - big show off :) He is capable of sleeping through the night, but growth spurts and teething have him quite uncomfortable at night :( And he wants to reach and grab for EVERYTHING. And just like every other baby, he has an unexpectedly loooong reach, the other kids are finding that out now :) 

We just love this kid, but we're hoping he won't eat us out of house and home for a little while longer :)

Weekly Weigh In: Weeks 16-19

Weeks 16-19

Weight: 134.5 - 139.2

Overall loss: ????? It depends on the day! Anywhere from 12-17 lbs

Yeah, yeah, yeah......I've been a slacker. But seriously, have you read about the month I had!? Anyway, excuses aside, although I didn't get my "regular" weigh ins done, I was hopping on the scale here and there to see my weight yo-yo down to 134.5 and back up to 139.2. This is not too shocking considering I took about 2 weeks off from the end of our Jamaica trip (I did actually workout out on vacation) until after I got Miles on his new schedule and sleeping through the night. So last week was my first true week back working out on a schedule. I'm hoping to keep it up, but I'm off again on the 5th for 5 days for a dive meet so things won't be completely regulated again until I get back from that trip. With all of that being said, I do feel good about where I am. Although I still have 5-10 lbs left to lose I am in much better shape, and ultimately, isn't that really the goal? So once again I'll just keep at it and try to enjoy the journey as much as I can :)

The Kids - What this blog is really supposed to be about :)

With the insane month of June we had there was little time to update everyone on the happenings of Jake, Brenden, Rylan, and Miles. So here it is!

The Bigs - Jake and Brenden

I believe in one of my previous posts I left off talking about tryouts for select soccer for Jake with Cincinnati United. Well, he made a team! However, when we first got the word Jake was still a little hesitant as to what he wanted to do and he found out he had made one of the B teams which competed at a lower division. Although he was listed on the B team there was a chance he would move up to an A team since he was also listed as the 1st alternate to make the 3rd A team. The kids have 24 hours to make a decision and less than a week from that they would have to be fully committed by turning in all the paperwork and money (which isn't cheap). So we talked everything through and Jake decided he was ready for the challenge so we let the team coordinator know. We got word back that one boy had elected to play up an age group so Jake would be on the 3rd A team, the CUSE Fire. He was thrilled, as were we. I was especially happy because I think being on the A team and more competitive division will really open Jake's eyes to the level of competition that is out there. He has always been the best player on his team and now he is playing with kids that have been playing select soccer for at least a season so he'll have to really work at his skills if he wants to be one of the best players again, a challenge I think he's ready for and I think he will enjoy (at least I hope). So the team has gotten together once to do some drills and conditioning and Jake seemed to like the players, coaches, and everything they worked on. He was also happy to discover that he's the fastest player on the team :) They will continue to have a few more training sessions this summer and 2 practices a week will start in late August along with games and tournaments on the weekend - I guess I will officially be a soccer mom starting this fall!

Also in the world of soccer, the boys attended their first camp - Soccer camp! We got word from one of Brenden's coaches that there was a good day camp nearby and it was also reasonably priced. I checked out the website and asked the boys if they wanted to give it a try. At first they were unsure, but when I told them they wouldn't have to go with me to the gym while I taught swim lessons and/or worked out, they were all in :) Brenden was also excited that his buddy, Lance, from his soccer team would be there. Camp was 9am-12pm Monday - Friday at a local park and was run by the former Xavier soccer coach. They spent their time learning new drills/skills and then putting those skills to practice in a week long tournament. Both boys seemed to enjoy it a lot. Brenden was a bit shy at first, but quickly got into it and made some new friends and had lots of fun. One of Jake's friends from school happened to be there too so that made Jake happy from the start. Brenden's team won their tournament and Jake's team lost in the finals on the last day (big bummer for Jake). I would say overall it was a very good experience. They got to learn, make new friends, and deal with some adversity (some of the players were more aggressive than both boys were ready for).

The boys will get their second run at a camp experience next week. Chris's parents offered to take Jake and Brenden for a week. And after looking at their schedules, Ginger suggested that the boys do a day camp at Gilmour Academy (Chris's High School). She thought this would keep the boys from getting bored during the day when Pete would be working and she had other commitments to attend to. We all thought this would be a great idea. The camp looks awesome - swimming, ice skating, tie-dye, games, etc. So I sent the boys off to Cleveland on Friday with Pete. I was a little sad to say goodbye and Jake couldn't get out of here fast enough. I'm really excited to hear how it goes, I'm sure they will have a blast. I also think it's great that they get to spend some time away from home even though we will miss them.

And even though it is summer, there has been homework. We are attempting to be good parents and keeping the boys reading and working on their math skills throughout the summer :) Brenden has been a reading champ. He has gotten through all of our level 1 &2 books and his well through the level 3 books and reading a lot of the toddler/baby books to Miles at bedtime. Jake is almost done with his second Harry Potter book and ready to start the 3rd. I gave him the goal of finishing the 2nd book by the end of June and the 3rd book by the end of July, and he's right on track. I have also had the boys doing math on the iPad with a few different math apps. Jake's not too keen on doing math, but Brenden has been very excited about learning how to add. Regardless, both boys are doing great in their progress and should hopefully avoid a summer slide.

The Littles - Rylan and Miles

There's not too much to report on Rylan. She continues to be our most challenging of the four, but she's also pretty awesome. I have to admit that I am not worried about her getting pushed around when she's older. That girl knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it, a frustrating trait for us now but it will serve her well throughout life :) She is enjoying having the boys gone although she has said Jake (not Brenden) can come back. She is soaking up all of the extra attention she can get. I'm pretty sure she would be more than happy if she were an only child :)

Miles on the other hand has had quite the month! At the end of May he hit a massive growth spurt. I'm quite curious to see just how big he has gotten at his 6 month check up on July 10th - when we left for Jamaica he was on his tip toes of the lowest setting of his exersaucer and is now on the middle setting with his feet nearly flat. During his growth spurt he had a few days of eating over 40 oz of formula/breast milk. He weaned himself because I simply could not produce enough milk to keep up with his hunger. As a result, we started him on solids a full month earlier than I did with the other kids. I now have him on the eating schedule that the others had at 9 months - 3 meals and 3 bottles a day. He has been a great eater, he favors the fruits, but more than willing to eat the veggies too. He is by far my biggest baby. 

In this past month he has also started to reveal his crazy :) He is no longer content to just sit back and take it all in. He is rolling from front to back and back to front. He's on his way to crawling, he can get from point A to B just not on all fours yet, but it won't be long - he is able to rock back and forth on all fours. He's reaching and grabbing for anything he can get his hands on. And he has quickly learned that in order to get attention in this family you have to make some noise :) Although he does like having the attention of his siblings, he often is happy to jump (and jump and jump and jump and jump....) in his bouncer. He is also able to sleep through the night, although he still has nights he wakes for short periods because of teething or other ailments, but that's to be expected at this point. 

So there you have it, Jake, Brenden, and Rylan are great and Miles has officially joined the crazy!

June 30th!? What the? Where the heck did this month go!

Let's just say life has been a bit busy since I last wrote, as you may have guessed from the blog title :) It really has been a whirlwind of a month for all of us. There has been traveling, camp, friends, family, visitors, new adventures, growing, eating, soccer, madness, and plenty of fun. I'll try to take it all step by step and not get too long winded in the process....

The first weekend into to summer we ventured up to Cleveland for the first time with all 6 of us. It also happened to be my birthday weekend so Pete and Ginger were kind enough to keep the kids and Chris and I stayed at a hotel. Part of this was because Chris had gotten us Dave Matthews Band tickets for my birthday and we knew we'd be out late. The concert was great! It was the first show we had seen together in at least a couple of years and as usual Dave did not disappoint :) We spent the rest of the time in Cleveland just relaxing and catching up with the family. The kids had a lot of fun playing with their cousins, Dylan and Gavin. It was also nice for me to have a little test run of leaving all four kids since we would be leaving them all with my mom the following week and up to this point I hadn't left Miles for more than a couple of hours. And of course the kids did great, but I know Pete and Ginger were a little tired from the visit :) - big thanks to both of them for their help! As nice as the trip was it did end on a bad note, I ended up at urgent care with a nasty case of Strep throat. Fortunately I was able to get in and out relatively quick and the antibiotics worked quickly. Lovely that I'm 35 and I still get strep throat, a predominantly kids sickness. Oh well, it sucked, but it didn't ruin what was otherwise a very nice trip.


So after Cleveland it was back to Cincinnati for 2 days and then Chris and I were off to Jamaica for Bridget and Matt's wedding and our first true vacation without kids in nearly FOUR years - YAY!! We had asked my mom long ago if she would watch the kids for us as part of my 35th birthday present and she was more than happy to help. She arrived a full day before we left to make sure she was all settled before the madness would begin. Chris and I left on Thursday and would return Tuesday night so it would be 5 full days with all four kids. She would get a little help since my brother came down for Saturday and Sunday. They all did great and had lots of fun.There was one instance of getting locked out, but otherwise the visit was without incident. There was a trip to the zoo, shopping, playing in the hot tub, and lots of silliness :) Chris and I called home via facetime a couple of times and it was always smiles and excitement from the kids. I know the kids and my mom had lots of fun. A HUGE thanks to my mom and brother for all their help!

Chris and I had a blast in Jamaica! 5 days of fun, family, rest, and sun, what more could we possibly have asked for? As I mentioned before, we were going for Bridget and Matt's wedding. Bridget is Chris's cousin and we both adore her so weren't going to miss this one. And the fact that it was in Jamaica meant we could actually get a vacation sans the kids too, truly a win-win :) We stayed at an all inclusive resort so the trip was truly carefree. We spent our days floating on rafts in the Caribbean and our nights eating, drinking, and laughing. There were about 30 of us there for the wedding and we all got along fabulously. Just about everyone left Monday, but Chris and I had decided to make the most of our time away and stayed until Tuesday. When it was finally time to go home we were both ready. It was the first time that I had been away from the kids for that long with nothing to do and it really hit me just how much I missed my babies. Usually when I'm gone its at a dive meet where I work 12-15 hour days and don't have time to miss my kids so this was a new experience for me. Anyway, we both missed the kids and were happy when we when finally (it was a looooong day of travel) made it home.

After Jamaica it was back to reality quickly. We got back Tuesday night (late) and I was off to West Lafayette Thursday at lunch time for Regionals until Sunday evening. Lucky for Chris and I my mom was staying until Saturday morning. This allowed me to get a bunch of stuff done before leaving and Chris the chance to get caught up with work. Another HUGE thanks for this help, mom!

And as soon as I got back from Regionals Chris was off traveling for work for 3 days. We finally got to spend the weekend of the 22nd-23rd all home and together. This would also end up being the ONLY weekend in the whole month that we were all home. Crazy. The next week Chris was busy with work again, the boys had soccer camp in the morning, and I was busy with swim lessons and diving practice with Rylan and Miles in tow. And Friday I sent the boys off with Chris's dad for 12 days in Cleveland - there will be more on that in another blog post.

And so here we are, June 30th. We made it, we may be a bit more crazed now, but we made it! :) July looks to be a little better, but August will for sure be madness. But really, as the blog title suggests, its always a little crazy in the Eby family :)